While I have never felt compelled to write or post on social media about political issues, I’m now moved to do so. I’m realistic enough to know that no one’s going to have their minds changed at this point but I’ve been asked by numerous people how I’m dealing post-election so I thought I’d share.
The few times in the last week that I have posted on Facebook about political issues, it hasn’t been to be provocative or to enlighten someone, it’s been to reach out to my Hillary supporting friends. But I end up feeling yucky because the haters jump on board with angry comments. (This has been from both “sides” and I’ve deleted all of those comments.)
As I write this, I’ve just returned from a 17-mile run.
I started my run pretty cranky. My feelings weren’t simply because my candidate lost. It’s far more complicated than that. And with three hours to burn, I had some time to think this through.
I spent the first 45 minutes getting more and more anxious and agitated. I had monkey mind, as we Buddhists say. I was jumping from one thought to another and most of those thoughts were not very positive.
Struggling with how to change my attitude, I turned off the podcast I was listening to in order to think through exactly why I was so upset. Here’s what I came around to…
First and foremost it’s because of the deep hatred, vitriol and divide that has permeated our country. I’ve avoided the news for a long time now (nearly a year?) and have been able to ignore much of the name-calling and hate speech from candidates and supporters alike. Now that the election is over, I don’t think it’s wise for me to continue my news diet. I feel really strongly that I need to stay aware of what’s happening in our country and push back against the hatred and the attempts to roll this country back to outdated values.
As a result, this past week I’ve read more news articles and Facebook newsfeed posts than I have in a long time. That’s caused me to be exposed to the negativity and anger from this country’s current collective conscious.
Being exposed to this makes me profoundly sad.
Second, I see people posting stories about how they, their friends and their family are being targeted with hate speech. Examples include: being called a cunt for supporting Hillary; receiving a voicemail message from a colleague wanting to grab one woman’s pussy; suggesting people go back to their own country; suggesting people go to DC so the administration can ship them home.
(By the way – I feel sick just writing those words!)
Third, I’m certain there are people in my circle who voted for the Republican nominee. I want to be so mad at these people whom I love. I want to shake them and ask what they could have been thinking. But what I realized as I was running was that it’s unlikely these people have a black heart full of hate. They are people like me who want to be happy, who love their families and who are trying to get along in the world as best they can. Just like me.
*****
Don’t think for a second I’m not outraged by corporate America and by the lack of accountability when it comes to Wall Street. I am.
What I realized while I was running is that I live in a bubble here in liberal Seattle. Our economy is good great. We have access to everything we need and few of us are lacking. But I know that’s not the case across the US. I understand the frustrations from those who voted for change. I believe most of you had good intentions. But I can’t get behind the way these messages are being delivered.
I’ve always been impressed by people elsewhere who are able to bring their country to a standstill by protesting (Thailand is the most recent example I can think of). I believe Americans have lacked that passion for a long time. So I’m truly glad people are impassioned enough here to vote for an outside candidate because they want change.
YAY for you!
But not at the expense of having created a hate-filled monster of a country. And I fear we’ve just done that.
In no way will this president get a pass from me on his behavior, anger and hateful language aimed at women, people of color, immigrants, Jews, etc. What he’s done is given a green light to make hatred okay.
I don’t care who you voted for, that should not be acceptable to any of you.
Politics and policies aside, I think we are going to have serious trouble over the next four years (and beyond, from the residuals). My mission, and I think I can accept it, is to be quiet here and on social media when it comes to politics. But please know that I will be working fervently in the background, with heart and with love, to ensure our rights stay intact.
I really appreciate people who can eloquently voice their opinions on social media and then watch and/or participate in the fallout. For me, it’s too distressing.
I want to put my energy to use in a positive way. I know that I will work most effectively in a quiet manner by joining on- and off-line groups to support the causes and people I believe in. I’ll make phone calls. I’ll write letters. I’ll protest. I’ll make donations.
But I’ll also put on a brave face in public and give high fives, hugs and praise to people who need it.
Ultimately this nation is not going to heal without some deep soul-searching and open hearts on both sides.
Be Bold,
Beth
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I agree with you and can’t wrap my brain around the hatred that has been spurred ever since candidates started running for the president. Being a Person of Color and growing up in the Deep South in Tennessee, nothing surprises me any more, sadly. I’m convinced that every that happened was by design. It was no accident that Comely announced information regarding Hilary’s emails 2 weeks before the election. I’m also convinced that this country is not mature enough to elect a female leader. Since I have more yesterday’s than I have tomorrow’s, my motto is, “this to shall pass.”
Wonderful, calming, thoughtful and insightful. Deliver us from the hate, from wherever it comes. I guess a lot of us have been literally, physical sickened but now begins our recovery. Pray it is also the country’s recovery in the long-term, if not the short-term. Thank you for posting this.
Bettye,
I’m sorry that nothing surprises you anymore. I’m shocked by the stories I’m reading by people who are being targeted with this hatred. I’m mean, really?
I agree with you about Comely and about us not being mature enough to elect a woman. I think more than half the population didn’t see all the negative news about Hillary as sexism.
And what still has me scratching my head is how when president-elect is called a misogynist, some people point to Bill as one too. As if HE was running for election again. Argh.
Beth
Thanks, Janelle. Yes, we are ALL now in recovery mode. Individuals and country. Let’s hope we come out of this stronger.
Beautifully and insightfully written! I am all about action – my favorite quip is “Sorry, I can’t hear you because your actions are screaming so loudly” – and applaud you for taking action.
With increased motivation prompted by the election, I ask the Universe to help me be fully present and aware today. I have rejoined the ACLU, Southern Poverty Law Center, and ADL. For years I’ve greeted people with a smile and a kind word and today it feels more urgent. I hope you share actions you find beneficial. You are an inspiration, Beth.
Barbara – I LOVE that quote. I’m going to use it. Often!
And, yes. Being kind feels more urgent. That’s sad but at the same time, how wonderful! And it feels so different than post 9/11, doesn’t it? Perhaps because we did this to ourselves…
This was so well written and I completely agree. I still can’t understand how people who voted for Trump thought he would care about them in any way. But the animosity he unleashed and encouraged is unforgivable. Our democracy will be battered, bruised and abused for his personal gain.
Anne – more so than personal gain, I think it’s personal ego…
Thank you, Beth, for posting words and thoughts so many of us share. Thinking we had moved past hatred and racism became an eyeopener following the election of President Obama. Still, I had never dreamed those feelings were so deeply entrenched in our country until Trump was elected. I guess those of us living in the Pacific Northwest have been sheltered and have experienced limited exposure to this type of vitriol.
Getting involved and voicing our disgust for the movement we are witnessing has got to make a difference. We have to keep trying to move our great nation forward instead of backward.
Jani – incredibly, some of the comments I wrote about in the post happened in Seattle. So the hatred is here but people have just kept their mouths shut–as they should! HA HA.
I just can’t believe that one hateful human can unlock the floodgates and people think it’s OK.
Thanks for that Beth, nicely said.
Beth:
You are very naive about politics in the real world. Go live in DC for a few years, make friends with the everyday people that have government and political jobs. Learn who is actually controlling the congress, the elections.
I’m surprised that you say Seattle is Happy Valley and everyone has enough to eat, good jobs, and plenty of warm clothes. Tacoma has gangs and crime issues, Olympia has a huge homeless problem and drug addicts litter the downtown with used needles and their own bodies.
I currently live in what Conde Nast likes people to believe is the number one tourism destination in the Universe, Charleston, SC. Maybe this is Happy Valley of the SE if you’re here for a weekend or get off a cruise ship for a few hours. The schools are shameful, the roads some of the worst in the nation, SC is somewhere in the top 5 states for women being murdered. Like every place the list goes on and on.
No president has ever fixed the divide in education for blacks and whites. Not even Obama and what happened and continues in the DC schools is most shameful of all.
As we covered the small towns of many US states over the last few years, it’s horrifying on how corporate farms and the industrial decline has destroyed town after town.
Hillary Clinton didn’t do anything to better Arkansas, she and Bill didn’t do anything to better the US, what did she do for NYstate? She was a lousy secretary of state. That’s what a large number of people saw and because other candidates had been removed by the “party” there was only one left to vote for. I have friends who were personal friends of the Clintons, for some years, in their early political lives and they had a Trump sign in their yard.
A very long time ago I had a big beef with the city I lived in so go you and your friends where the power is and get elected. It’s the only way you’ll change things…maybe.
Mary – I hardly know how to respond to your comment.
I did say I live in a bubble in SEATTLE not Washington State. And you went on to say how things are terrible in Tacoma and Olympia, which are not Seattle. Come on out to visit and I’ll show you million dollar home after million dollar home in what are considered middle-class neighborhoods in Seattle. We ain’t doin’ too badly here.
My post is about how I’m choosing to deal with the hatred, racism, sexism, antisemitism, etc. that is now deemed acceptable because we have a misogynistic, hateful president-elect who thinks that grabbing a woman’s pussy is OK.
Your rant is not helpful and is just the kind of thing I’m trying to avoid and push back on. I have no interest in joining politics and only time will tell if the petitions, donations and rallies will be fruitful. They certainly helped in the 60s and I think we’ve reverted back in time so there’s hope 🙂
Beth, please remember, I live Right outside of Washington, DC and I see a lot. Racism and sexism is alive and well in this country. We tend to surround ourselves with people of similar views. There has always been resentment against President and Mrs. Obama. Just recently a public official from West Virginia referred to Mrs Obama as a an ape in high heel. Many pro Trump people stated that electing Hillary would be more of the same and they wanted something different. You may recall that president Clinton signed the bill for NAFTA. After this bill was signed, many factories started to move to Mexico and producing items in foreign countries at a cheaper rate. The automobile industry suffered. The “Rust Belt” has suffered and Trump promised jobs in those areas. It’s not going to happen as these people are delusional and prefer to believe Trump instead of dealing with reality. Nike, Tommy Heilfiger, and Apple produce most of their products in foreign countries. We now live in the world of technology. Hate to sound gloom and doom. Trump worshipers believe everything he says so what can you do? Enough said!
Additionally, I challenge you to read the book “Sundown Towns–A Hidden Dinension of American Racism” by James W. Loewen. This book will educate you regarding how much hatred has been in the United States since reconstruction. What we learned about the election was Trump turned on the lights and the bigots and sexists who have always been around, revealed themselves in the light. We aren’t born hating and being racist and sexist, it’s taught. Try walking in the shoes of a Person of Color, you will get an awakening. To quote the late singer and song writer Marvin Gaye some of the harsh things that people of color are subjected to, ” Makes you won’t to holler and throw up both of your hands.”
Thanks for all this, Bettye. It makes me truly sad. And I realize how much of a bubble I really have been living in.
I appreciate the book recommendation…
I’m in West Virginia – that’s real Trump country – unemployed miners. I have some colleagues at my college who were Hillary supporters. I don’t know how to get over the idea that I’ll never see a woman president in my lifetime! And I don’t know how to get over the idea that we’re going to have that stupid buffoon as United States president instead of Hillary whom I’ve loved for years
Beth, Congratulations on your wedding – after too many years!!!!!
Beth – as I read your November 18th letter I thought how BOLD you were to post your real feelings. As a business woman it cannot be easy to do that for fear of losing business. But then, who would want people on a tour with “those” feelings!! Hahahahaha! I agree with ALL your words. I have had a sick feeling ever since I heard who won. It just seems to be get more crazy with each new announcement, and tweet. The best thing to do is quit watching TV, but I can’t do that – I need the entertainment that MSNBC and CNN provide!! I hope this all passes, and everyone survives!!
Congrats on your wedding. I wish much happiness and you and John.
Suzanne Morris
Thank you, Beth. Thank you for speaking so eloquently and getting right down to the terrible truths of this debacle we’ve found ourselves in I have been litteraly sick to my stomach since the election. And now with his inept, greedy self-serving people he is appointing to his cabinet, it can only get worse ! I’m scared. I thought Nixon getting elected was scary but that was nothing like this. Trump is so much worse. I fear for family …I am about to be a first tie Grandma!, I fear for my friends, my community, and for the entire country. The thought of Trump having his tiny little hands on those nuclear code is just mind boggling. I can’t think about it too long or I’ll have a major freak out.
I’m new here and I am so happy I found you. I’m a widow and am alone with my thoughts too much. It’s really great to find so any like-minded people!! Peace. Love. Acceptance.
Thank you for finding me, Susan! Feel free to come here any time for a dose of inspiration (or as a distraction!)
Beth