Last night I taught one of my workshops for women travelers. The gals asked some great questions and one that we explored a little was how to get around that oh-so-uncomfortable feeling when you have to eat dinner all by yourself. Here are some tips you can incorporate into your next adventure:
1. Eat at the bar. No, it doesn’t mean you are a lush. Particularly in North America, I have found that if I sit at the bar, there are other people to chat with including the bartender and other solo diners. If I don’t have my own, there’s often reading material or a television to distract you from the fact that you’re all by your lonesome.
2. Avoid room service. While it seems quite luxurious to have someone bring food to your room, it’s quite alienating. I mean, it’s just you and Ross and Monica and Chandler and Phoebe. Who wants to sit on their bed, watch Friends and then be stuck in your hotel for the night? Plus, it’s easy to indulge in larger portions when you’re in solitude.
Look familiar? (Photo courtesy of: Ninajpoodles at Creative Commons)
3. Fill your time in the late afternoon and early evening with an activity. Go to your hotel’s gym. Go for a long walk. And then eat a light meal at a cafe or grab take-out to bring back to your hotel. By using this time wisely, you won’t eat out of boredom and you’re less likely to want a large meal. You’ll be feeling and looking marvelous!
4. Eat your big meal at lunch. I’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating. If you eat a bigger meal at lunch, not only will you save money but you won’t be searching for a full meal for dinner and you’ll lean towards light options. Grab a bite at a cafe or pick up some groceries from the local store.
5. Carry a book, journal or magazine. When you are dining solo, always have some reading material handy to distract you from the snuggly couples and families that might make you feel lonely. (I shared a table with a Spanish couple at a cafe in India and their constant giggling and smooching drove me mad so I just pulled out my trusty journal and wrote… and wrote… and wrote.)
Travel Well!
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Matt Ellsworth says
great tips. I’ve used several of these whether I was traveling for business or just swinging in for a quick bite while waiting for someone else.
I almost always bring a magazine with me or something that I don’t care if it gets a little dirty.
Peter Daams says
Definitely a good set of options.
Another one I’d suggest is to take your food to a park or something (at least for lunch). It is much more normal to be eating alone in a park and there will be plenty of things to look at to keep your mind occupied. Plus, if it’s a nice day and you have a good shady spot, your lunch can develop into an afternoon snooze 😉
Emma says
I have to say I love eating alone. It’s so often underrated, or even seen as taboo. Although I admit that there are some places where it works better than others, it is an altogether enjoyable experience when you can enjoy a meal on your own and not feel like the rest of the world is pitying you for being alone. As far as bringing a book goes, often times I’ve found that reading can be rather difficult while trying to eat. I think people should be able to eat alone without having any sort of fear of being “lonely.”
Eating big at lunch is something I can definitely agree with, as long as it’s not too big. And eating at the bar makes sense too. Sometimes occupying a table by yourself in the middle of a room can be quite uncomfortable. The other day I was trapped in a small town near the village where I live because the buses weren’t running. It started to snow, so I went into a cafeteria to order some fries, read, and sit a while. I tried to find the least conspicuous table, but was quite unsuccessful. I was dead center in that room. But most of the patrons of the cafeteria were old men who were just stopping in for soup and bread, then immediately getting up to leave. I found that I couldn’t sit still enough to read, finished my fries and tea, and bolted. The location in the room is definitely a key determinant for solo-dining comfort.
Thanks for this topic.
Katie says
Great if you’re an extrovert, not so applicable for introverts. I don’t eat at the bar because I don’t like it when some random person tries to talk at me. If I’m eating, I want to be left in peace to enjoy my meal. Room service rocks. Yes, actually, I do want to sit on my bed and watch television. I’m proud to say I’ve never seen Friends. I’d much rather watch a nature or history program. Numbers 3 and 4 are on target. I don’t get how other people can make you feel lonely, since my own company is best. Simply being around other people is enough for me. I don’t have to and often don’t want to interact. I’m one of those who can happily go for days off in my own mind, thinking, observing, writing, drawing, and only talking to people to order a meal or ask directions. Some of these are okay, but some are applicable only for the very social. Traveling solo is awesome precisely because I don’t have to talk to anyone and can attain that deep peace of mind that comes from long bouts of unstructured time. Nice article; just thought I’d provide another perspective. Cheers.
Beth says
Katie,
Good for YOU for being so comfortable in your own skin.
With regards to being an extrovert… I don’t think you have to be an extrovert to make conversation and I don’t always make small talk to make friends.
I found myself making conversation with people on my most recent trip to India for safety reasons. At a train station late at night, I was the only western woman there waiting for a train that was 2.5 hours late. I boldly walked up to 3 guys who were, as it turns out, from one of the ‘stans. I wouldn’t normally have been so forward (because I also like my own company) but felt that it was safer for me to be with other travelers AND I could hardly stand all the staring by the locals as a solo women traveler.
Thanks for your perspective and,
Travel Well!
Gary says
I usually have an iPod full of podcasts I’ll take with me and listen to while I’m eating.