It’s about time you got to meet my brother Gopal, whom I frequently mention in my posts.
There is an lovely festival that takes place every year in India called Raksha Bhandan and is a celebration as well as a reaffirmation of the bonds between a brother and sister. During the ritual, the woman will tie a festive string on the wrist of her brother which indicates their bond and the brother swears to protect his sister.
I met Gopal fifteen years ago when I was travelling with my husband, who became fast friends with Gopal. Ajay was a British born Indian and at odds with the Indian culture which he saw through Western eyes. Gopal became a kind of local guide for Ajay into the heart of Indian philosophy and bought him neatly back into the Hindu fold. In those days, Gopal referred to me as Bhabiji meaning wife of my brother.
After Ajay died, for the first year I was still Bhabiji but then came the time for Raksha Bhandan and I tied Gopal as my own brother. In every way the man has become over the years as dear to me and as involved in my life as my own brothers, if not more so.
His contact with foreign tourists has given him an understanding of Westerners that not many people in this village have. He is deeply interested in psychology and culture and says its from the many hours he spent talking with his good friend Michael, a German guy who he had known for many years. Michael died a few years ago, but before he did he wrote to Gopal to honour the friendship between them. When I read it to Gopal we broke down in tears which is forbidden in Hindu culture lest your tears scald the soul of the deceased. But his grief and loss was real and I wept to read of the very real love between these friends.
In that moment I also realised what a huge part of my life Gopal has been. He has been my guide into understanding so many things about India and my soul mate when times are tough. He demystifies Western culture the the locals and dispenses wisdom and humour as effortlessly as he makes the most superb food.
Women love him, he adores his mother who is a force to be reckoned with and although he already has three sisters, he has managed to collect a kiwi one and a Japanese sister as well through the connection of his heart.
But most of all when he laughs it is with his heart and soul and body and that happiness bounces off the sky.