The concept of an “ayi” (domestic helper) is often difficult to explain to friends and family back home. People, of course, understand the benefit and tell me how lucky I am to have this temporary luxury, but understanding the notion that one is expected to employ an ayi in much of Asia is complex.
I remember moving to Hong Kong, determined not to hire an ayi and “do it myself,” only to be told by knowing acquaintances and locals (who didn’t understand my position at all) that this would never last. They were right. I work part-time, and the fact that – at least in Hong Kong – there were no baby sitters, legal part-time housekeepers/child care workers, or family around to pitch in made the idea of extra and very affordable help irresistible.
On the other hand, I do enjoy having my house to myself, and for this reason, I do not have an ayi come every day to our home in Beijing. China is more flexible about part-time help than Hong Kong, where ayis are mostly live-in and come from the Philippines and Indonesia. I like to joke that here in Beijing, I love to see our ayi on the days she works, and I also love to have my house to myself on the days she doesn’t.
I was thinking about this earlier today, when I answered my phone; I had requested a plumber, through our management office, to come and repair a toilet. The manager of the service center, whose English was good enough (and better than my Chinese) but still far from perfect called me and our conversation went like this:
Service center manager (SCM): Hello, I send worker to your home at 9:30 this morning.
EK: I am so sorry. I will not be home at 9:30.
SCM: It’s okay. Your ayi to take care of it.
EK: I am so sorry. I do not have an ayi today.
SCM: You do not have an ayi? Why not?
EK: It is her day off.
SCM: (not understanding) Why don’t you have an ayi? Do you need an ayi?
EK: No, no, it’s her day off.
SCM: Day off?
EK: My ayi does not work today.
SCM: Why not?
EK (redirecting): Do you think you could come tomorrow at 9:30?
SCM: Tomorrow. 9:30. Do you have an ayi?
EK: Yes, yes! The ayi will be here!
SCM: Okay, ayi will be there. I confirm tomorrow at 9:30.
I am certain that everyone at the service center now knows that there is a woman in the complex who doesn’t have a full-time ayi! And I’ve been chuckling all day about my exchange because the conversation was so illustrative of my experience here – both in terms of the culture around ayis but also the blatant curiosity demonstrated – and not commonly expressed at home. Initially, I thought about Lianyu, our ayi, who would now have to explain to the workers tomorrow exactly why she wasn’t at work today. But then, upon further thought, I realized I still didn’t get it. For them, it would likely be just friendly conversation.