It’s 5:30 a.m. and I’ve been up since 3. Since my return home I struggle to keep my eyes open every afternoon. Day five being back in the U.S and I’m having serious trouble adjusting to the time difference. My visit home last year wasn’t nearly as difficult.
I’m also experiencing some heavy-duty reverse culture shock this time around.
A few days ago as I walked around the lovely Chicago suburb of Oak Park, I found myself completely overwhelmed in addition to the jet lag. Tears threatened to fall as I gazed at some of the upscale housing. Now my family isn’t rich at all. My older brother worked hard and became an engineer, securing a good position in the city which enabled him to afford a modest home in the area. We know what it’s like to struggle. But seeing this section of the city, the manicured lawns, people out gardening and playing with their dogs–it seemed as if I had fallen into an alternate universe. While I don’t consider Taiwan a poor country by any means, there are significant cultural differences. And hardly any lawns.
The most distressing thing however–after traveling to remote places like Port Barton this year and experiencing the humble (but beautiful) existence of the people there, such extravagance here seems so wrong somehow.
At the supermarket the other day I stood in front of the Asian food section eyeballing the bitter melon and lychee fruit. I thought I’d come home and give in to all those delicious old temptations but I find myself craving tofu.
All the fast-food chains and popular restaurants I used to enjoy do not appeal to me in the slightest now.
I wanted to come home for this visit. I’ve missed my family and friends a lot these past two years. Prior to this week I’d been in such a hurry to get home and see everyone…return to the place where I “belonged.”
Now I feel a little distant, detached, from everyone around me. And while I don’t consider myself better (or wiser) than them, it’s a little lonely and painful not being able to fully share all I’ve experienced. So I’ll show the pictures and tell the stories. People will smile, shake their heads, and then–talk about things like the traffic, weather, the price of gas. The lawn. How they hate their jobs. The newest reality show.
And I’ll think of Asia.