I was recently interviewed on The Bill Radke Treatment radio program. The topic was centered around hodophobia. Hodophobia is the fear of travel. During this program we talked specifically about why some people hate to take vacations and what we can do to make more out of our time away when we do venture out.
I was invited into the studio along with Dr. Jonathan Bricker, a psychologist who specializes in helping people get over their fear of flying and travel in general. Sure, I can understand the fear of flying, but it never occurred to me that people would allow other things to get in their way of taking a vacation. This concept was beyond my comprehension.
But listening to Dr. Bricker, I started to understand how things that I take for granted (long lines at the airport, navigating through security, being lost in a country where they speak another language) can all add up to a person not wanting to leave their comfy environment. And it turns out there’s a name for that: hodophobia.
Who knew? This is so not my world. Everyone around me travels – for a living or for fun. It’s second nature. But now that I know that hodophobia exists, I’m quite intrigued.
It turns out that people with hodophobia believe that the effort one needs to put into travel is so great, that it’s simply not worth it and that the stress that comes with preparation is too much to bear and the rewards not great enough.
Yes, I’ve met people who never take vacation (and wear that badge proudly). I now see that it might not be that they love their job (or their home) so much. I realize there might be something deeper going on. They likely have a long list of reasons why travel is so uncomfortable that they can’t imagine putting themselves in such a situation.
Just yesterday in the Syracuse Airport, I heard two airport employees talking. One woman said, “I haven’t taken a vacation in two years. Not since I went on vacation with my husband and he told me he hated me.”
The first sentence made me sad. The second sentence just made me sadder. This woman works at an airport where she watches people come and go day in and day out. And she associates going on vacation with her husband who hates her. I wanted to run after her and say, “Be free! Fly away!”
For me, as much as I love my hubby, home and Seattle, the pain of not traveling is far greater than staying home.
I would love to hear from people who have hodophobia. Are you out there? Lurking? Feel free to leave an anonymous comment. I’ll be following up with a post with some tips on getting over this fear.
Travel Well,
Beth
Related links:
Backscatter Whole Body Scanners
Judging a Book, er, Traveler
Photo credit:
Woman on Lake: martinak15
Yes, I am one of those rare people who have hodophobia. Most people think it’s a fear of flying, and that is the furthest thing from the truth. If I could afford to fly across the country for lunch and be home by evening, I’d do it gladly. For me, it’s about the feeling of being out of control and an inability to sleep if I’m not in my own bed. Also, nearly every time I travel, I come down with some type of illness caused by the stress of travel. I’ve suffered from back problems, depression, vaginal infections, eye infections, jaw problems, etc., some of which linger on for weeks after I get home. It’s just not worth it, since I suffer while I travel and suffer when I get home. I have had a few good trips in my life, but most of them were miserable. I find–strangely enough–that I prefer traveling by myself, because I feel more in control. I like to visit with people while at my destination, but I prefer to drive alone and stay alone in the hotel. It helps me relax and sleep better. (Sleeping pills help too, but I HATE taking them.) But it’s not all bad. I save a lot of money by not traveling. I love where I live, and I make the most of community activities. Oh, and I do like day trips. I like to go visit a nearby town, prowl around, have lunch, etc., as long as I’m back in time for bed.
Marcia,
Thanks so much for sharing this. It really helps me to understand this better.
And thanks for spending time on the Wanderlust and Lipstick site for some virtual travel!
All the best,
Beth
I am terrified of traveling alone. I have no problem going places with other people, but the very idea of going to another city paralyzes me with fear. It’s frustrating too because all I want to do is travel. But for me, I developed a panic disorder that now shows up only when I try to go places alone. I’m determined to get over this, but it is not easy when pushing myself to get on a bus or train will bring up the sensation that I am dying. It’s hard to cope with that feeling, because your body goes into fight or flight mode and your mind usually pushes you into “flight”. I am trying to do baby steps, but now I have come to the point where I have to really face my fear. I just hope I can do it.
I’ve been researching this phobia, and I’ve yet to find anyone else like me.
I can barely travel across my city, even with another person. Even with ten other people. It scares me so much. I can just about travel the twenty minute bus ride from my house into town. Anything further than that and the panic sets in.
It’s not the location. If I could take dematerialize and the rematerialize in Japan and stay the week, I would! But travelling scares the hell out of me. Long journeys make me want to die.
It’s funny really because I once spent 26 hours on a coach. Now I can’t even get on one.
I’ve suffered with general anxiety all my life, and most terribly in recent years. I’m pharmacophobic as well, I’m terrified of taking medication. I guess I’m just scared of anything I don’t have control over.
I can’t tell the medicine to leave my blood stream before it has an adverse affect on my body, just as I can’t tell a train to stop mid journey or a plane to land mid flight.
I have wanderlust and was never taken on holiday (or vacation I think you say in America) as a child, and had the odd school trip growing up. I’ve wanted to travel my whole life. I’d give anything to see the world, but I’m overwhelmed by fear. I wish someone could help me.
I’m glad to see that I am not the only person who fears traveling. The fears I have are mostly due to not being in control of everything. I’m afraid of getting on a plane because what if I want to get off of it? I’m afraid of being far from home because I wont know my surroundings. When I go to other places I think things like, “Where is the hospital, where is the police station, and so on and so forth?” In the last year I have started to force myself out of my comfort zone. First I went on vacation to a place that I had vacationed at as a child because I was familiar with the area, and then I went on a road trip with a friend that was about 13 hours from home. They were tough but I managed to go and had a great time. I plan to continue to do this but I wish that I wasn’t so scared and nervous because I do know that this is holding me back from seeing all of the places I’d like to see.
I am so thrilled to hear from others with the same fear. I’m devastated for them that they have it, but I feel less alone. When most people talk about fear of traveling, they talk about fear of getting lost, missing their flight, etc. These seem like rational fears and simple planning can help avoid these situations. My fears, like those mentioned above, are irrational. My fear is being too far from home and not being able to get back if I wanted to. Why would I want to? I don’t know. But I obsess over the lack of control. Just like the person above, I too wish I could just “beam me up, scotty” to different places because if I could zap back home whenever I wanted I would have no fear.
Sometimes it is worse when with others because I worry about no being able to convince them to turn around or looking crazy in front of them. I also worry that I’ll be forced into a situation that scares me if I’m with others (such as going to the top of a skyscraper). Sometimes it’s better when I travel with certain people like my mother who knows about my condition and would stop or turn around if I really needed to without much convincing.
I now have a 6 hour train ride coming up with my boss that I am terrified of. Getting on that train I have no control and nothing but my own thoughts for 6 hours and I don’t want to look nervous in front of her. I wish I could hear from someone who has suffered the same fears and gotten over them (and how). It would help a lot if I knew there was hope.
So sorry to hear this, Brittany.
I had originally heard about hodophobia from someone who counsels people with this fear. I would think that some therapy would help tremendously in getting over this fear.
GOOD LUCK! I truly hope you can get over this and enjoy the world.
My partner suffers with this & like Andy above it’s more about control. Did pushing the comfort zone work for you?
It’s difficult to know how to help as like the article says, just bringing it up is very stressful for him. Has anyone managed to cure this phobia? I’m wondering if more regular trips not too far away would help, as long as they are not stressful I thought this might neutralise the anxiety he feels.
When we actually get away he has a great time.
Ellen,
I don’t know if you saw my comments above, but I have since survived the trip mentioned. It is a control thing for me too. I have to say that therapy has been a huge help…and I was a skeptic about therapy.
One thing that really helped was that I took the train alone. Traveling alone is better for me because I feel like I have the control to turn back if I wanted without having to make an excuse or try to explain to someone else. It also takes the pressure away of worrying about looking crazy in front of someone else.
Another big help was visualizing the trip with my therapist. She’d put me into a deep state of relaxation and then have me visualize the trip from waiting for the train to coming home again.
It also helped to look up the area in google images, look up images of my hotel, and look up any other building I knew we’d visit. That way it seemed more familiar to me and less of a culture shock.
Hope this helps. Fear is such a cage. It’s so sad.
I am a lot like the first lady who wrote. I have gotten sick on every trip I’ve been on. I am bipolar, and have other health issues, and too much stress- even ‘good ‘ stress-can make me ill. I do enjoy outings where I live. I enjoy concerts, art, restaurants, church activities, volounteer work, etc. I am also active in my community, and sing with a concert choir. I have what I consider a rich life, and don’t miss traveling.
I enjoy seeing new things and learning about other cultures.It’s just the GETTING there that does me in. I have gotten sick and exhausted every time I ‘ve travelled, and to be honest, I don’t miss it. Like the first writer, I enjoy my life and my community, and have many interests and activities.
Hi
this is such an annoying phobia – I look at pictures of foreign places and wish I could see them close up. I don’t enjoy travelling but can go for a couple of hours in the car or train if I have someone with me and I know I’ll be back later. I sometimes think i could get on a plane but I wouldn’t want to be away for more than a few hours. I think a lot of it is a control thing – travelling by air or train takes away some control, but my fear is that I will be miles from home and I’ll have a panic attack and be unable to get home straight away. I’m better if I have my car and I know that anytime I like I can get in the car and drive home – traffic jams are really bad!! Just feel so guilty all the time that I can’t take my children on a real holiday 🙁
I think I have a legitimate fear of going on vacation. 3 1/3 years ago my husband and I had a dream vacation planned for Ireland. We were to spend 9 days touring Wicklow forest by horse drawn caravan. It sounded so romantic! The first day out, our horse was really spooky. At one point we stopped to check our map and stretch our legs. Getting back into the wagon, the horse spooked and took off.
My foot got caught in the steps of the wagon and I was dragged long enough to had my foot pulled off. I was incredibly lucky in that a nurse literally appeared out of nowhere and took care of all medical arrangements, including getting the best foot and ankle doctor in Ireland down to Dublin. More miracles occurred when the doctor was able to save my foot, even though I lost 15% of my muscles, destroyed the cartilage in my ankle, and left me with severe nerve damage and chronic pain. Still, I am very lucky to have come home with both feet, but the trauma lives on in the form of nightmares and panic attacks.
I also cannot walk far, maneuver stairs, and walk with a cane. I was starting to feel better about traveling and decided to visit my sister in another state. At a bus terminal, I couldn’t find an elevator, no one to help me and direct me to an elevator, only a set of stairs and escalators. I took the escalators. I lost my balance and fell, did a roll and tumble on the moving stairs, gouged both legs and arms, and hit my head. I ended up in a hospital with more injury and stitches to my already damaged leg. Now I am mortified to travel. It’s beyond fear, it is complete and total terror that I will find myself in a situation with no one to help me and I will be injured again.
My husband and his sister have planned a wonderful vacation for the three of us, and all I can do is cry and cringe in horror at the prospect of going to strange public places where I have to rely on others for my safety. My family is hoping that traveling with me will help me move beyond this fear. I feel like I’m going to faint from terror. I hope I can muster the courage to make this trip.
Moggitte – it sounds like you could likely use some professional help to get you through this. You had a couple of unfortunate incidents and it would be so great if you could get over them to enjoy this wonderful world of ours.
This is all so interesting to me to hear others talk about the same fear of traveling that I have battled for so many years. I didn’t even know it had a name (Hodophobia) until this week! Like some of you, I live a happy, fulfilling life, enjoying so many things near my home. My husband and I love to go to the movies and out to dinner. I am very busy and active in many things, spending hours in my car…..as long as it is within a 60 mile radius of my home. Anything further than that terrifies me.
I, too, get physically sick dreading a trip, and suffer from anxiety and panic if put into a situation where I can not turn around. Most of my family lives away, and I have missed every wedding, college graduation and baby shower that any one has had. It is very depressing. I actually do not have any desire to see the world, no desire to take vacations to far away places. I just wish I could travel to events that family and friends are a part of. Every feeling each of you mentioned is something I have experienced as well. I have had a few successes in travel, and when I get there, I usually have fun. But I have also had some failures, traveling 150 miles, and once arriving, the anxiety was so bad we had to turn around and drive home. Thank God my husband is an understanding man. I try to explain to family, but they just cannot understand how those of us with hodophobia feel.
Elizabeth – so sorry to hear that this is an issue for you. Have you thought about getting professional help?
I have seen a counselor for years. I know the traumatic events when I was a child that created the problem. The counselor’s answer for me is to “keep trying”, making short trips and getting some good experiences behind me. I know this is true, but still, when the pressure is on, and there is an important event requiring a road trip in front of me, the anxiety will start. I know whether or not I attend the event will literally depend on how I feel the day of the event; whether I feel mentally strong enough that day to attempt it. Most times I do not. I hate it that I disappoint family members, and the guilt is probably my biggest issue. I will continue to try, but at this point in my life, I feel as though this is probably something that will be with me a lifetime. It all started 40 years ago, so it is deep-rooted. I strongly encourage others with hodophobia to seek help through counseling and medication as soon as the traumatic event as possible. I believe they can win the battle!
Recently returned from a trip with a friend of mine. I told him upfront that I had a travel phobia and didn’t travel well. For me it was the loss of 10 coworkers in a plane crash in the early nineties. He told me he had my back and it would not be a problem. This was supposed to be a four hour automobile ride to Myrtle Beach. Instead, the route he chose took almost 7 1/2 hours because of traffic and road construction. I expressed several times that I wondered how much longer it would take to get there because it was almost dark. Once we arrived, he immediately wanted to leave the room to walk the dog, leaving me in an anxious state. I asked instead to go with him. At no time did I ever express any displeasure at him or the route he had chosen. He chose to make it personal by saying that he didn’t know my phobia “meant I couldn’t walk my dog!” and that he was “so done.” Just made me feel 10 times worse and that I should have stayed home. Ask me if I’ll ever go anywhere again.
Oh that’s a terrible story, Deb.
Have you sought professional help for this?
I had some terrible events in my childhood that created this problem.i loveeeee to travel but at the same time iam very afraid of travelling.I like to travel alone and even with my friends.
when I was young I travelled many places with my family and it was completely fine then but then whenever I would go out my stomach would start aching and I feel very nervous that may be I want to go washroom,but it was just my imagination,I never really had the need of going to washroom.From then I am always afraid of going outside thinking that my stomach would ache and many question arise in my head like , what will i do if I didnt find washroom?and I would start sweating profusely.I am jst 17 but its looking like this thing is sucking hapiness from my life.I feel very sad when I see people travelling nd realizingthat I can’t be like them.I am too afraid to tell my parents or friends about this.
I dont know is this a phobia or something else.I know it sounds silly but this is what i am.
thank you for reading….
Oh, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell someone about this because I’m sure you can get help for it. Perhaps you have access to a therapist where you are?
Thanks for commenting and sharing.
Good luck!
I never travelled as a child. Even school was walking. My first job was near where my sister worked, so went with her. My other job was a bike ride up the road. Another job – I was taken in a neighbours car and my dad brought me home on his motorbike. I met my husband in 1964, so he drove me everywhere. My next job was a short bus ride. He died 5 years ago, and I just cannot go anywhere new on my own on transport. However, I do go to California to visit my son, but a taxi picks me up at the door, drops me at the airport. When I arrive, I phone my son and he picks me up. But I did this journey many times with my husband- so it is not new to me. I have a real fear of going anywhere on my own, but ok with someone else.
Guys , stop playing victims to your fears !Stop feeling sorry for each other. You must change your attitude and face your fear head on. Yes , you will feel scared and panic but that’s the only way to get over it. Start reading productive things such as Paul Davids blog that is written by an ex sufferer . You will see your life will change . Go to http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk
Thanks for the link. But know that sometimes it’s not as easy as just “playing victim” and “feeling sorry for each other.” We all struggle with difficulties in our lives and this just happens to be one for these poor folks.
Having said that, again, thanks for the link!
I lived in Vienna from 1963 to 1968 and traveled the world. Travel back then was a dream in every way compared with nowadays. I don’t have to list all the ways the experience of travel has in general deteriorated—you can probably imagine. Or maybe you’re too young, and can’t. Anyway, as a result, travel today simply depresses me. I braved a trip to the Philippines five years ago and it confirmed my suspicion that travel has become hell. I know that if I returned to Vienna I’d be deeply disappointed by all the changes there, the corporatization, and would also be stressed-out by the ordeal of getting there and back from my comfortable Virginia farm. I prefer to stay home and travel locally, by pickup truck. Virginia is a diverse state and has much to offer. You could spend a lifetime exploring just this one state.
I agree that travel was better in the old days (yes, I’m old enough to remember), Stephen. But I still embrace travel as an incredible way to grow as a person, to learn about other cultures and to share that knowledge with others.
yes I am afraid to travel, but I am not even happy with the place that I live. I am happy to be alive though, and relatively safe.
I have hodophobia. I was raised by extremely fearful parents – fear of death during travel was just one of the fears I grew up seeing and learning. I fear traveling by car, bus, train, boat/ship, and plane. I flew all the way to Germany so my kids and I could see my husband before he went away to the war (Desert Storm), and flying home was my last flight (about 25 years ago). I didn’t get my drivers license until I was in my early 30s and can only handle driving myself within the city limits of the town I grew up in or the town I currently live in. I white-knuckle it as a car passenger a few times a year so I can see my son and grandkids (5 hrs away) or my sisters and parents back home (4 hrs away). The kids want me to go on a cruise with them someday and just thinking about it fills me with a panic-level anxiety! :/
I can’t believe this is a thing! Every time I’m on vacation, I have a miserable time. I’m so nuch happier in my town in my surroundings! It’s really not a fear of air travel, yet more an anxiety of getting lost on a strange city. I’m currently traveling with my partner who has to work. I am not comfortable leaving the room. When I did take a walk, I got lost and nearly had a panic attack. While it would be logical to look at Google or ask someone, I guess I fear the ridicule of asking! I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one dealing with this!
Dominick – that’s such a bummer to hear but I do understand it. The things that make me nervous are making a fool of myself when I’m trying to figure out how to work the machine in a subway station or figuring out how much and how to pay a bus driver when I get on a bus in a big city. Like you, I don’t want to look like a fool.
But doing these things in a city where you don’t know anyone is just the thing you need to do. Because no one will know you, there’s so little to lose!
Good luck, Dominick! I hope you make it out of the hotel room!
I have had this since I can remember, as a child, I didn’t associate it with fear or anxiety as it felt and feels so physical. When people drive fast or I’m on a motorway, my tummy turns over, my head spins, it’s hard to focus and my heart races, it feels as if I’m going to die, in fact I’d prefer to die than go on a fair ground ride! It’s stopped me doing things and made me feel as if I had a nasty secret, something that made me more foolish than anyone else. I have felt horribly embarrassed about it. It’s as if the fear rises and rises until it completely takes over and feels as if I will have a seizure. I’m sure it is associated with feeling out of control as it is worse if I can’t stop the car for example, which is why I never drive on a motorway. My daughter is starting uni next year and I want to support her by visiting her etc so I really have to knock this on the head and soon!!
Hi,
I know this post is from a while back, but I would like to share my thoughts. I am between the ages 9-13. I am very scared to go on vacation tomorrow. I feel like I am going to throw up. I am not so sure how I am going to be able to sleep tonight and hopefully, I won’t freak myself out on the airplane. I have a 1&1/2 hour flight, a layover in an airport I have been to a couple of times a long time ago and after that, I have a 3&1/2 hour flight. I am worried that once I arrive at my final destination and get into the place that we are staying at, that I might think about coming home, which freaks me out. I also am very sad and nervous that I have to leave my pets at home. I have a Guinea Pig and a Betta. I’ve had my betta for 4&1/2 years and my guinea pig for 2&1/3 years. I am in this place for a week. My guinea pig was just cured from Ringworm and my betta is not looking spectacular. I think they will both be going to my aunts house. I love my little piggy and I get so sad when I have to leave her. My goldfish died when I was on vacation once (he was being looked after and I had him for 2&1/2 years). My Mom told me my betta looked like he was dead when we came home and the next day, he looked revived… Creepy. Anyways, this stuff makes me worried. I just don’t want to leave home. I have gone to sleepaway camps very far away and have been there for up to a month and a half! I don’t want to leave my precious items here! Sorry for this being so long and having incorrect grammar, but thank you for reading this!
Hi
I am a multi millionaire, an Entrepreneur and outwardly an all round self made successful guy who people look at and think I have the perfect life. I have had new Ferrari’s, Lamborghinis etc and live in a lovely house. But for everything I can achieve in my life, It breaks my heart but I can’t travel and really struggle staying away either on my own or with my wife.
I used to book day flights that were short hops at about half an hour etc, but more often than not I would get to the airport and not get on the plane. It’s not flying that worries me it’s an anxiety that is built up being away from home, in unfamiliar surroundings. Sometimes when I did fly somewhere I was a nervous wreck until I was near to being home. I have really tried so hard with this as there are so many places that I want to go and I have the money and the time to do all the things that most people can only dream about holiday wise. I used to hide it from my wife but when we got married I could not get on the plane, it’s caused me some real stress in my life. I don’t even really try now as it just upsets my wife when we pack and leave to come home again or not even leave. I wish I was normal.. I long to feel the warm sand beneath my toes and experience new cultures and places.
In my case as a child I was such a poor kid we never went anywhere, and on the one holiday we had someone tried to sexually abuse me. In later life I had one great holiday and then fell ill on my next one and was trapped somewhere ill for two weeks with no money and no means of escape.
I struggle being away from the house further than I can get back in a few hours by car, and on occasions have been able to stay in local hotels when I was trying to beat this but… it’s been so hard!!. It’s the one thing in my life that I really hate about myself. I wish I was normal.
Hi. I know exactly how you feel. It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one that fears what most people love! I usually say to people that my fear is flying but it’s not that . . . It’s the fear of not being able to get home.
I’ve had this fear since I was a child and have had some truly horrendous experiences where I’ve felt that ill and panicked that I was convinced I was going to die. Sounds so dramatic now sat here and so ridiculous but the fear is real and totally debilitating.
I still try to get away and see new places but sometimes it’s just too stressful and during the lead up I’m so anxious that it takes over completely. I feel like I lose my personality and become a complete zombie like being ?.
Thanks for sharing everyone it’s good to hear that there are other people with the same irrational fear as me.
Be kind to yourselves people and don’t ever give up hope.
I don’t know if I have a phobia or not, but travel is definitely not my thing. If we’re going anywhere new I will go into full anxiety before leaving, and it is extremely uncomfortable. Often this turns into a migraine, too. Usually I always get a migraine during any trip more than two hours away from home. There is no way I will ever go on a trip outside of the U.S. or Canada. I’m only comfortable with Canada because I grew up near the border and have found it isn’t much different than the U.S. However, put me in any large city where I am unfamiliar and I am a basket case. I feel like I’m going to die and in fact am convinced that if I don’t get out of there I’m going to die. I feel trapped, completely lost, helpless and vulnerable. It even crosses my mind that I really would rather be dead in that moment than to be in the situation I am in. I cannot control these feelings of fear and anxiety. It is extreme for me.
I have always suffered from anxiety. Its been a problem I have lived with since I can remember.
I work for a company that requires traveling so often. I have co-workers who die for the chance. Due to my qualifications, I am often asked to go over everyone else. Just this thought sets in panic and anxiety. Traveling alone is a complete disaster. I have come up with the worse excuses not to go. My job has been put on the line at times. It is a real bad situation to deal with.
My fear is having a wreck & being killed. I can drive all over around home & it not bother me but anything over a half hour away I have the fear that we won’t make it back. It’s not just me though. When someone I love leaves and is driving more than 30 minutes away I have this fear that they will have a wreck. My mom passed away when I was 7 .She didn’t have a wreck she had cancer & I always had this fear of something happening to me & leaving my kids with no mother. I looked this up this morning as I sit here waiting for my grandson to call after he left to go back to college & it is a 2 hour drive & I have worried the whole time that he will be in a wreck & get killed. I thought there has to be something that makes me worry like this. So, now I know I have an actual phobia. I will have to ask the dr to prescribe me something to take when I know my grandson is driving . He surprised us this weekend & I was so happy he came home but now I know he is driving back & I am worried to death. Anyone else like this?
Hi, I’ve been suffering with this for around 7 years. As a child I used to travel across Europe for the 6-week summer holidays to Greece from the ages of 7 – 20 with my family. I later became a touring musician and travelled the all over the UK for up to 6 weeks at a time with no problem. It now seems that I’m living in a bubble that I can’t break out of. I can see where I work from the top of my road, 3 miles away, so I can go there. Any further than that, I try to convince myself that I can go but then I develop a full-on panic attack when it comes to the time to leave. Needless to say, this has put an end to my touring days. It manifests itself with the previously mentioned, in other people’s posts, fear of becoming ill when too far away and an overwhelming need to ‘get back home’. It started not too long after I had an artery burst in my nasal/sinus cavity which required 3 blue light trips to hospital in ambulances. I then went on to develop Hypocalcaemia and other, on their own, no too serious illnesses. I too have tried to ‘stretch my horizons’ gradually but in truth I have no need to and it seems much more appealing to stay at home nowdays. I feel safe there. I have missed my 3 sons’ first gigs, university events which I find really sad though.
Oh that’s really sad, Paul. I can understand giving up travel if it were purely for pleasure but that you’re missing out on family events is another story. I hope you can find/get some help.
I fear traveling at night time that’s too in bus coach, what to do?
Yes! I have fear of traveling especially now that I’m older! I haven’t been on a vacation since I went with a group of ladies from my church to Disney! That was about five years ago!. I thought traveling with a group of women would be easier but I was tense during the entire trip because I didn’t want to say or do anything to upset anyone! But… the thought of picking -up and simply driving to the beach or mountains for a weekend alone is nerve wrecking! I hate to do things alone for fear that something might happen to me or I might get sick or something! Fear is real! It can be a very crippling and a paralyzing disorder! Sometimes… I hate to go out to dinner and do other things alone! I’m working on my fear of traveling by taking very short trips to familiar areas. I’ll be retiring in about four years! My heart desire during my retirement (and before) is to simply feel free to roam about the country!
I don’t understand why this is happening to me. My husband and I have traveled to Europe two times within the last six years and had great vacations. The last time we went (two years ago) I was very anxious for unknown reasons and found it hard to enjoy myself until the third day. Then I relaxed and enjoyed the trip. Since then, I constantly look online at other European trips I’d like to go on. In January, we had to pay the balance of a trip for March. I knew there was no going back if we made that payment. Even though this is not about money, in my mind I knew if we paid for the trip we would not be backing out. I went into a full anxiety attack and we cancelled the trip. Now, five months later, I thought I could handle it and found a great trip with one of the company’s we previously traveled with and had a great time. I was so excited when my husband agreed, and I convinced myself that this time would be different because of the time of year we’d be going. I went from being elated one day, to booking it the next, and then a full on anxiety attack, and then luckily able to cancel the trip because it was within the same hour of booking it. I don;t understand why this is happening or what I can do to get help. I did experience a very serious loss during the last two years and I don’t know if for some reason this is the cause of my fear, even though there is no reason to relate what happened to traveling. I feel so broken. I have been home on medical disability for almost ten years and do not have much of a life anymore, other than a great husband and grown children. I’m not sure if more or less living the life of a hermit (hardly go out) has caused this to suddenly happen. I wish I knew where to go to get help. I did try seeing a therapist a few months ago. After four sessions of: tell me about your week… and then no suggestions to help me, I felt like I was just paying someone to listen to me. So I’m not sure if anyone is ‘listening’ now, as this thread is not recent, but if you are and can offer ideas of what helped you or whom to see for help, I would really appreciate it. Thank to each of you for sharing.
I also am unable to travel specifically abroad. Like others it is a control issue of not being able to come home if I want to or get off the plane. I feel really restricted because of it and hate people asking me about holidays. Any advice about how to help me would be most appreciated
I am pretty sure I have this phobia as well. I always feel anxious during the weeks and months leading up to a vacation. During long car rides and airplane rides I feel extremely fearful of losing my life. I feel a little better if I am driving because I have control. When others are driving, I annoy them by reminding them to slow down or telling them about the traffic even though they don’t need any help at all. This habit is really hard for me to stop because otherwise I completely freak out.
My husband is luckily very understanding of this weird phobia, and my other phobia, which is obsession over everything being clean.
I think the two phobias, the one where I’m afraid to travel, and the one where I’m afraid of germs, kind of play in together. I dislike sleeping in hotels and eating in restaurants because their floors and walls and everything might be dirty. I don’t really trust others to clean things the way I do. I will throw food away or leave restaurants if I suspect anything might be off. For instance, I saw a woman working at a restaurant cleaning the trash cans on our way in. I then made my family leave that restaurant because I was worried she would go and prepare food after cleaning trash cans. My kids said she would likely wash her hands, but I was still worried because she had touched her clothes and hair.
I do have enough self awareness to realize these things might be irrational, but I truly feel this anxiety that causes all these behaviors.
I would like to travel, but there are too many things causing me fear. I would rather just stay in my home town and sleep in my bed where I know I’m safe.
I am 52. I had my first panic attack when I was 13 and I thought I was going to die. It started years of anxiety for me. I worked my way through crossing bridges and all kinds of crazy things my anxiety would latch on to. The one thing I havent been able to kick to the curb it traveling. If I get too far out of the city I live in…it starts. I am not thinking about anything. It hits me physically first. A hand on my throat squeezing …breathing off…tightness of chest. Fear of flight. I have to get back to my safe zone. As soon as I turn my car around…I start feeling ok again. I start feeling my body calm down. Speed the car up…get closer to home and familiar sights and buildings. I am embarrassed. Humiliated . I feel insecure. Stupid. You name it. No vacation pictures of myself and family because I can’t get out of town. Always making excuses to friends and family because I have to hide my secret. My vulnerability. Don’t look weak. I am so tired…..years if this makes me just wish Jesus would take me home…
I am so sorry, Beth. I hope you are getting help for this. You are way too young to talk about dying. Please take care.