1. Find a kid (preferably one you like.) It helps if the child is not your own, however. You can never really turn off being a parent and wouldn’t want to if you could. But being a fairy Godmother requires a very different relationship. Any kid will do in a pinch but bonus points if you are actually that child’s god-mother. I chose my niece. She is an extraordinary child and I adore her. Lucky me, I also stood Godmother to her almost 9 years ago.
2. Find a castle. It should be deep in a wood, surrounded by a fairy tale village. I used Ravenwood Castle in New Plymouth, Ohio. It operates as a bed and breakfast and often hosts literary and gaming events. Last weekend was an Alice in Ravenland event specifically for children. I selected a room in the castle itself with a balcony facing the front so we could watch over the exciting arrivals and departures of the other families coming to the castle from the village.
3. Set some limits. Yes, you heard me. Good Fairy Godmothers do not condone free-for-all amok-running! Even when her fairy Godmother sent her clubbing to meet a royal play’a without a chaperon, Cinderella still had to be back by midnight or risk humiliating embarrassment. Keep in mind, too, the child is away from her parents and familiar social structure. Telling the little dear what to expect and what the rules are helps give her some security and structure to hang the fun on. Take the guess work out of being a “good girl” so she can relax into the role of fairy tale heroine.
4. Mix the new with the familiar. You are looking for a unique experience that is still familiar enough to be recognizable. A surprise, but prepare for the surprise. The weekend I took my niece to Ravenwood Castle, they were hosting a children’s event called Alice in Ravenland. There were new and exciting activities, crafts, and events but all involved the familiar story and characters. Rough Magic, a community theater troop, brought them to vivid life. We watched the players arrive from the balcony and my niece knew the story, So she knew what to expect of the characters and could interact with them confidently.
5. Don’t make the venue do all the work. Make the experience unique for your kid by adding your own signature. It’s OK to deviate from the theme. You want your child’s experience to be different form the experience of the other children. I brought some paper craft knights and dragons and an educational book about Knights and castles. I also gave my niece full jurisdiction over what music we listened to and what she wanted on her plate. These little diversions and freedoms meant a great deal to her.
6. Give the fairy dust time to settle. I have observed so many well-meaning adults directing the attention of astonished children from one thing to another so fast I don’t know if I could have kept up. Are we so afraid our child will “miss out” on the next thing that we can’t let them have the experience in front of them? Take care not to drag your child from one place to another so fast that the “fun” feels more like “work.” No wonder so many kids develop hyperactivity or attention deficit disorders.
7. Give a girl a little room to work her own magic. Give the kid a gift of peace. When the girl is lost in thought, do not demand “What are you thinking about?” Your very question is a crushing blow to the delicate structure of a daydream. It is startled away and lost when you speak of it. Give your darling the room to create her castles in the air without petitioning for admittance. In spite of all your effort to plan the activity, no matter how much time you have spent, you must never loose sight of the fact that you are not magic. The child is. You only invoke her imaginative powers.
8. Don’t be afraid to share the magic. You are allowed to have a good time too you know. You are in a castle! They serve brown ale in the pub! They bring you tea! I even met a woman who was neighbors with one of my favorite writers! There is plenty to enjoy and plenty of pleasure to go around. The kid with you will have a much better time in the company of a happy adult. Open yourself to the experience.
9. Miss something. Don’t worry about “getting your money’s worth” and taking full advantage of every activity. Some things are better off missed. Your girl may have more focused interests. She may be of a certain age where eyes roll if something is too babyish for her. It’s perfectly acceptable to miss cookie decorating and craft time. Retreat to the library instead for an RPG session. (That’s “Role Playing Game” for you non-geeks reading this.) The times you ditch the program to go do your own special things just might be the highlight of the weekend! The child is not provided as an audience for the program. The program is made available for the delight of the child. Don’t confuse your subject with your object.
10. Harness the power of happily ever after. “The end” can have a real sting without the hope of “happily ever after.” You can make sure leaving your “ball” is less painful by having a reason to return to the real world. Have something to go home to. For my niece, we had to get home in time for her birthday party.
Happy Birthday, my lovely Grace. Thank you for making me a fairy Godmother for a weekend!