I’ve lived in the Seattle area for my entire life, but it’s only been in the past few months that I’ve discovered a secret society. Back in my days as a full-time journalist and then as a communications specialist, I was intellectually aware of, but otherwise oblivious to, a bustling other world happening all throughout the city, beyond the walls of the office: the world of stay-at-home parents.
As the child of a mom who chose to stay home with me, I knew well what it was like to be on the receiving end of such a lifestyle. But it wasn’t until my own initiation into motherhood that I started to comprehend this world that had been happening before my eyes all along.
It came as a surprise when my schedule—which I thought would no longer consist of commutes, meetings, deadlines, and networking—began to feel more packed than ever before. Sure, I spent blissful hours on the sofa cuddling with my newborn, but I hadn’t expected that as soon as I got the green light to lift my baby in his car seat two weeks after the cesarean, I would be bundling him up and taking him with me everywhere. At first it was the medical appointments, then it was the new moms groups organized through church and the hospital. Before long I braved the grocery store and Barnes & Noble, and the more ambitious trips out to Babies R Us in Lynnwood (I quickly learned a few tricks that would keep my baby quiet and happy through the errands).
Eventually, once the medical appointments waned, the social and enrichment activities increased. Lunch dates, invitations to parent-baby classes, outings with other moms—suddenly my calendar was as full as ever before. Plus, my eyes started to open to what had been happening all around me all along. Suddenly, Seattle—which not long ago was known to have more dogs than kids—seemed packed with children. I’d see parents jogging with their little ones in strollers, navigating the store with a car seat in the bed of the grocery cart, and breastfeeding discreetly while on a coffee date. Families like these had existed before, but on a different level for me until I joined their club.
Soon I began to meet them, and everything I used to believe about it being hard to meet people in Seattle started to unravel. For example, while it is usually awkward for a Seattleite to ride an elevator with a stranger, if they’re both parents with kids in tow, one of them can easily break the ice by asking something about the other’s child. Plus, there’s no shortage of activities for parents and children, from story time at libraries and bookstores, early childhood education opportunities, parks, and organized playtimes. Those activities are usually filled with people who not only attend for their baby or child’s benefit, but also for the interaction with other adults.
I’m still struck by the secret-society nature of the world I entered into, and how the life of a stay-at-home mom differs from what I expected. As I already mentioned, I used to see these parents around town, but since I would only see them during one facet of their lives—be it grocery shopping, attending church, going for a walk—I didn’t realize how that one activity fit into their lives as a whole. Sure, some people choose to be more active than others, and having multiple children to pack up in the car creates a new dynamic to getting out of the house. But this club is thriving, and it thrills me to no end to be admitted as a member.