It’s a common enough ‘joke’ about kiwi’s that I have heard repeated all over the world. Put two of us in a room for ten minutes and we will find that we are related, they say. I think that may have begun as a cheeky joke from our Australian cousins who have also on occasions inferred that there is more than a strictly business relationship between our sheep and our lonely farmers. In point of fact while the rest of the world is separated by seven degrees, in New Zealand with our small population we have a separation of only two degrees.
So it can be that I meet a random traveler in Pokhara, Nepal only to discover within minutes of meting that she is the first cousin of my daughters best friend since schooldays, to the absolute astonishment of my New York companion. “That would NEVER happen in New York!” she declared after witnessing our Kiwi style meeting. Other nationalities may get excited to meet someone whilst traveling who lives in a nearby suburb to them back at home, but we kiwis expect a more intimate knowledge of the other. It’s one thing I like about being a kiwi woman, that interconnectedness of our relationships. If we meet a fellow kiwi in our travels, the conversation will go like this. “Where are you from?” “The city or town or village will be named.”“Do you know so and so of that city/town/village?” If the first answer is in the negative then the questioner will probe until a commonality of relationships is discovered. The situation deepens for Maori who will then be able to trace a bloodline or whakapapa connection back to the gods in some cases, in other cases often a relationship of distant cousinhood is worked out.
This week I have felt quite proud to be a kiwi in the midst of the tragedy that has overtaken out fair city of Christchurch. From the very first reports of the earthquake that shook the city almost to the ground there came the stories and the pictures of ordinary every day people acting like the heroes and the sheroes that we all know we are. The man who hurled concrete blocks around like so many building blocks to recover a man in the rubble, the ordinary people who risked their lives to help search for survivors and the people who turned up with shovels and blankets and willing hands to help have made me proud of our national spirit.
While my home is far from Christchurch, I have to say that I have had experience of personal tragedy in New Zealand. When my husband drowned on an East Coast Beach, the support and random acts of kindness shown to me by my local community helped me through a terribly difficult time. And now when I return to that terrible day on the beach, the memory of it is softened by the kindness and love shown to me during that time. This is the spirit of the ordinary Kiwi, we rush to help, to lend a hand as people from all over the world are now doing for us.
In the rangatira language of New Zealand we have a beautiful world which applies in this case, Kotahitanga. Ko meaning to you or you, Tahi meaning to stand and tanga meaning the verb in action. So this is what I see happening in Christchurch, people are standing together as one. I am hearing the Mayor of that city encouraging communities to support and help each other while the emergency services struggle to reach them. Communities are doing exactly that, its encouraging and heartening and humbling to see our nations people working for the common good. Eighteen thousand University students organising themselves with shovels to go out and commit random acts of Kotahitanga, helping where and where they can.
Marae are throwing open their doors, food and offers of help are pouring in from all over the country and from everywhere we are hearing stories of everyday people committing courageous acts of heroism. In a city where everyone knows someone, there is now less than two degrees of separation between us as a nation. The emotional aftershocks from sudden shock, loss and grief comes sliding at you from weird angles. Its that way with grief, shock and bewilderment; it sneaks up and hits you from behind. You need to know someone has your back while you let yourself go mad with grief or pick up the pieces of your life. Its difficult to find a silver lining in the ashes of a city destroyed but its there in the most simple and humble ways. Buildings may crumble but that indomitable human spirit of kindness that results in Kotahitanga will always stand tall amongst the rubble.