I’m afraid of many things. Answering my phone. Cleaning the litter boxes. Disappointing my parents.
But I’ve become rather fearless when it comes to two features of my upper-body-wear: color and volume. The universe keeps sending me these amazing blouses in rad prints, many with tasteful shoulder pads. (I’m crushing on this one, pictured above, from etsy store momodeluxe.)
That’s right. I like shoulder pads. “A lady and a linebacker,” says my WanderMan when I show off a new-to-me blouse.
I’m not an 80s apologist. I prefer to think of myself as an enthusiast. I don’t want electric blue eyeshadow or vertical bangs (again). But I’m all for a little extra shoulder oomph, especially for those of us with bodies where, as a friend kindly pointed out, the party is downstairs.
I acknowledge the artifice of the shoulder pad. Can they be ridiculous? Sure. So can scarves or hoop earrings. The dose is the poison.
A google search for “tasteful shoulderpads” is first corrected in those scolding italics (did you mean tasteful shoulder pads?) Nothing much turns up, other than a few jabs at extreme Dynasty-era armor, and a general sigh of “Thank God the 80s are over.” (Image of the pattern above, which I happen to like, is from etsy seller raegirl.)
In one of my classes, we’ve been talking about contradictory truths. Higher order thinking asks us to hold conflicting possibilities in our heads. That’s how metaphor works. Say that our love is a red rose. We know that in what writer Natalie Goldberg calls “1+1= 2 thinking,” our love is not literally a red, fragrant flower (unless it is. None of my business). And yet. Our love is beautiful, or delicate, or timeless, or fragrant, or tender and flanked with stubby thorns. Figuratively, our love is a red rose. There’s some truth in it.
So picture me googling contradictory truths like “tasteful shoulder pads” and “luxurious polyester.” I believe! I have blouses in my very closet that, on first touch, I did not believe were synthetic. Do they wrinkle? Hells no. Do they travel well? Oh yes. Do I love the the silky feel of them on my skin? You betcha.
(Photo of 80s vintage blouse from wanelo.com)