There is a special hell reserved for the person who decided to move the goal posts of the New Zealand Passport. Back in the good old days, passports were the best value for money of anything you paid the Government for. For a mere 100NZD we used to get a passport that granted you entry to hundreds of countries all over the world and it lasted a whole decade. Not only was it value for money, women travelers had the added advantage of being able to travel all over the world looking younger with every year that passed. So you could be forty nine and flashing a passport photo that had you pegged in your late thirties. How good was that? You didn’t have to lie about your age, you just had to whip out your passport and wipe ten years off the face that was staring anyone in the face at that time. Now, thanks to the person for whom the fires of hell are warming up as I write, New Zealand Passports are valid for only five years and cost double the price. This has to be the worst possible news for someone like me, quite apart from the fact that I so hate having my photo taken that it takes me ten years to recover from the shock of one passport photo to another.
Of course you don’t think of that when you are young and gorgeous and your skin still reflects the yellow of buttercups, you only think of it as the petals of your dewy skin begins to fade like the wallpaper in granny’s drawing room. At some point in every woman’s life comes the day when getting the glam shot on your passport matters like hell and you will go all out to make sure you look fabulous. Since there is a general rule of thumb that passport photos have to be a certain size, that you are not allowed to smile or call in a lighting crew, here are a few tips to make sure you have a passport pic that is not going to make you weep for your long lost youth or look like a criminal.
- A week before you need to have the photo taken, get a fabulous hair Do. Spend a week looking fabulous before the shoot and book an appointment to have your Do washed and blown and tonged and pimped for the day of your passport photo shoot.
- If you can possibly arrange to fall in love in the week before you need a passport shot then please do so. This will add a glow to your skin that even the crap lighting and the white back ground of the studio cannot diminish.
- Spend the morning at a reputable beautician. Thread and pluck and pimp your skin, get the bags under your eyes ironed out and snore softly in the back room while your face mask dries.
- Meet someone for lunch who makes you laugh out loud and spend at least an hour laughing or flirting with someone.
- When you are sitting for your photo shot, stare directly into the camera and think of something sexy. This will widen your pupils and make you look more attractive to Immigration Officials all over the world.
- Check the digital image and don’t be shy to ask the photographer to press delete and to keep taking photos until you are happy with the result.
- If one day you happen to feel particularly gorgeous, its always a good idea to rock into a Passport Photo Service Shop and get a few snaps done, tuck them away in your purse for visa applications that may arise as you travel along the road of life.
Okay, that’s not fifty ways but I just kinda liked the title and I am happy to accept other suggestions up to that number!