“Life begins outside your comfort zone.” It’s a phrase that is thrown around so much that it’s less of an inspirational mantra and more the kind of catchphrase you scroll past in your Pinterest feed. (Fans of Girls may recall the second season episode where Hannah encounters a variation on the same phrase in the jazzhate office and dubiously says, “So the magic happens outside of your comfort zone?”)
Overused or not, there’s truth behind the saying. Great rewards can be had for stretching ourselves beyond our typical range of behavior. Travelers – and readers of this blog – generally know this. In some ways, stepping outside of your comfort zone is the very purpose of travel. People travel because they want to see the world in a new way, have new and different experiences.
But even adventurous travelers sometimes bump up against the outer levels of their comfort zone and have to struggle to break through fear.
For example, heights give me pause. They always have. I have never liked being at the top of a ferris wheel, and watching window-washers clean the glass windows of skyscrapers is enough to make my palms sweat.
Several years ago, I was visiting Tikal, an enormous set of Pre-Colombian Mayan ruins in Guatemala. Most of the temples could only be admired from ground-level, but, as I approached Temple V, the second tallest temple in the complex at 57 meters tall, I noticed a staircase affixed to its side. The staircase was so steep that it was little more than a ladder, and just looking at it set my teeth on edge, but I knew that the vistas from atop the temple must be incredible. Slowly, trying not to look either down or up, I climbed the “stairs” until I had reached the top.
The walkway at the top was only about a foot-and-a-half wide, and I dug my fingers into the spaces between the stones, clinging on for dear life. I was terrified, but I was also exhilarated. The view from the top was even more amazing than I had imagined: the tops of other temples could be seen emerging from above the jungle, and the scenery was augmented by the songs of the tropical birds and the roars of the howler monkeys in the trees below. I was so glad that I hadn’t given into my fear of heights and missed out on the experience.
Since that petrifying climb up the “stairs” at Tikal, I have discovered a few techniques that help me when I’m in similar situations:
Confront your fear.
To conquer your fear, first you have to understand it. On a trip to Paris with my mother, I stood at the base of the Eiffel Tower trying to determine why I was so afraid of going up to the viewing platform. Sure, I knew that I was afraid of heights, but what specifically did I think was going to happen? Once I challenged myself to answer that question, I realized that I was afraid of falling off the platform. That fear was completely ludicrous: there is plenty of fencing in place to prevent tourists from accidentally falling to their deaths.
Visualize yourself conquering your fear.
Visualization techniques can be really helpful in breaking past fear. In the Eiffel Tower example above, I visualized myself enjoying the nearly aerial view of Paris with my mother. I thought about what a great bonding experience it would be, and how it would become a memory that we would cherish for many years. Before long, we were buying the tickets to the viewing platform and joining the queue.
Employ a mantra.
The mantra I use in frightening situations is simple: “You can do this.” I repeat it to myself (either in my head our aloud, as the situation demands) in as confident a manner as I can muster. Not only does this bolster my confidence, but filling my head with this mantra leaves no room for fearful thoughts to take hold.
What are your tips for conquering fear? Let me know in the comments!