Homesick. It might as well come with a fever, body aches, and sore throat because it makes you feel just as terrible as any other illness and doesn’t have any of the real over-the-counter stuff that will knock you out. Like hot flashes, it comes in waves, when you least expect it and finding a cure could prove difficult.
Since I’ve been living overseas for 4 years now, this virus has waged war on me quite a few times but I’ve found that these quick and pretty simple remedies have helped along the healing process.
1. The Simple Things
Ahhhh, the simple things in life. We al have those uncomplicated joys that bring us to our zen place. For me, it’s O Magazine (The Oprah Magazine) and a cup of coffee with hazelnut creamer (which also happens to be Oprah’s favorite). In the rare quiet moments that a house with two toddlers (both under 4) can offer, I find a stillness in the pages and sips of my simple pleasures. (As I write this my daughter is starting her own one-woman band with cymbals, a tambourine, and drum sticks.)
2. Plan: a 3-Part Series
- Part 1: Small Plans
PLAN a dinner with friends. PLAN a themed cocktail evening. PLAN a community Olympics event. Plan for fun things that will help keep your mind off of wherever you miss.
- Part 2: Big Plans
Unless you’re Scrooge McDuck and diving head first into gold coin, you probably can’t afford to fly home on a whim but you can PLAN for a home visit (or bring home to you). Find time in the future when you can go home (or have visitors) and book tickets. It may not get you home this weekend but it will give you something to look forward to and get excited about. - Part 3: Long-Term Plans
I love fall: pumpkin coffee and scarves and that specific shade of orange. But living on an island proves fatal for all of that autumn-loving-ness. Enter my brilliant friend. Last night, during a wine date, we were standing in her kitchen and I saw a mountain of flavored coffees that her husband had bought her for her birthday: Amaretto, Hazelnut, Irish Creme, Pumpkin Spice. Mmmm… Pumpkin Spice. I picked it up and smelled it. Hard. Mmmm. “I’m saving it,” she said, “along with the other pumpkin flavored coffee you brought me back for Christmas. That way, in the fall, I won’t have to miss pumpkin coffee.” Brilliant. Simple. The beauty of long-term planning. There’s a reason she’s my friend.
3. Get Cultured
I am all for immersing myself into my new culture – When in Rome and all that – but the truth is sometimes I don’t want to be in Rome; I want to be in Jersey. Sometimes I want a freaking bagel. Sometimes I want to walk into CVS and buy tampons, a US weekly magazine (in English), peanut M&Ms, a Hallmark card, and a reasonably priced bag of Oreos all in one stop. Sometimes, as much as I like our Pizza Movie Nights here, sometimes I want a real pizza. From Tony’s. On Oak Tree Road in South Plainfield and I want to watch The Americans on FX instead of a questionably illegal website. I know it sounds silly that such small things can make such big impacts but when everything you know is now different, it changes everything. So because I can’t get Tony’s Pizza delivered to the Dominican Republic or rapid fire shopping spree at my local pharmacy, I have to find other ways to stream, listen, and smuggle in bagels and keep myself in the loop. Finding things that remind you of home: a radio station, a blog, a TV show – things that can hypnotize you into believing you are home for even an hour can help you forget all about being homesick.
4. The World of Tech Devices
Just today, I tried to FaceTime my best friend who is due with her second child any day now. She wasn’t available so I whatsapped her. Within the whatsapps I also inserted a few voice memos so she could hear the exact way in which I would say that. When she messaged me back she said she would FaceTime me later and I told her that since FaceTime is on my phone I’d be available anytime. It dawned on me that being away doesn’t mean we’re far anymore. We live in different countries, across an ocean, in cities that don’t speak the same language and yet I could reach her in a moment’s notice in a variety of ways. Take comfort in this. I know it isn’t the same as being there in the hospital when her baby is born but it is something. And something is better than nothing.
What works for you? What gets you out of the homesick slump?
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