You know when you’re sick and you type in all of your ailments to WebMD and you realize Oh my God I have Alien Hand Syndrome but you don’t have Alien Hand Syndrome, you’re just freaking yourself out? Well, I received an email a few days ago from someone moving to the Dominican Republic who had a similar issue but about moving abroad:
“…I was excited. Now I’m scared because it’s a third world country and I’m reading all this negative stuff…HELP!”
Gathering information about your move is a great idea but reading too much of something could freak you out before you even get there. Each experience is an individual one so don’t taint yours with someone else’s diagnosis. So to my email friend from Cali and those of you who are spooking yourselves out because of too much WebMD-type reading, sit down. Let me tell you a story:
A few months ago when driving around Santo Domingo with my in-laws, we turned down a typical Dominican street: crowded road full of cars, parked and not parked and double parked, Dominicans strewn about the street everywhere you looked hanging out at colmados – some sitting and chatting, some slamming down small, rectangular white fichas with black dots on them yelling, “Domino” – all socializing, loudly. Others whistled and shouted down the street to their amigo in a voice best described as their very outdoor voice. And others still, sat outside of their home – on the same buzzing, busy street – with the occasional chicken clucking around their legs, sharing a beer, music shooting from every speaker that could connect to the music: merengue and bachata all around like tequila shots in Mexico. Husband maneuvered this street like a veteran, anticipating motoconchos (motorbikes) that appear like phantoms, rideen by people who drive like teenagers learning to drive but with much less finesse. I don’t remember the exact comment one of my in-laws made but it wasn’t necessarily positive. And as I watched what was now a familiar scene for me in Santo Domingo, I decided not to bother to try and explain our island home, but instead silently stumbled upon a fundamental truth: Ahh…you wouldn’t get it
My silent thought wasn’t meant in that teenage-girl-you-don’t-get-it way and it wasn’t specifically directed at my in-laws either. The you I was silently thinking about was the general you; the you that doesn’t live here (wherever here happens to be), the you that I, also, become when I visit somewhere totally foreign to me.
I remember my initial reaction when I first arrived here and it landed somewhere between uneasiness and was this a mistake? I wasn’t used to this place or this way of life which made me nervous. Where I’m from no one sits outside of their house unless it’s in their fenced in backyard. And people don’t sit outside in public sharing beers, talking loudly, and playing anything unless you want a ticket for public intoxication and disorderly conduct – even if you’re not drunk or being disorderly. And there are certainly no wandering chickens. So what if this me, that didn’t get it, wrote about her experiences?
Just like you’d never know how glorious bacon is by someone telling you about it, you’d never know how amazing a place is until you’ve really spent time there. You wouldn’t get it just by visiting (and especially not by reading), and, really, why would you? I’ve had 3 years to change my outlook and see things differently. Things that were once scary are now just a part of a place I love: yeah, the streets are crowded and the cars are double parked but that means I can park just about anywhere I want, in whatever direction I want without getting a ticket. Sure there are people everywhere, talking loudly and slamming down dominoes which means we can get away with loud Christmas caroling down the streets of our neighborhood. And yes, there’s a lot of music – loud music – which means everything is a party, which is great because I like parties. And while the motorcyclists drive like crazy people, their driving has made me a better, more aware driver. And the chickens? I don’t know, I just kinda like the wandering chickens. But I had to learn all of that for myself and not from reading about someone else’s experiences of this crazy place.
The abroad version of WebMD is very much the same as the original Web MD: if you don’t know what you’re dealing with it can be scary, and often times, what you read isn’t at all what you’ve got so it’s important not to get spooked – ahead of time – by the unknown. Since each experience is an individual one, don’t let someone else’s symptoms influence you before you’ve had your own chance to live through it.
And for the love of God, stop reading Web MD.
~ Not all who wander are lost…
Travel Notebook – Nomadic Lass
Typical Dominican Street – Jennifer Norman
Loud Dominican Party – Miki Paulson