People often tell me that they hate to bargain – and I understand.  I used to feel the same way, but after many years living in countries that require it to survive, I have changed my opinion.   I now enjoy a good bargaining session and look forward to opportunities to hone my negotiating skills.  How did this happen?

In Asia, people are expected to bargain.  As a Chinese friend once explained, “The seller tells you his price with full expectation that you will come back with yours.  If you pay what he asks, sure, he’ll be happy, but he’ll also think you a fool. You will have “lost face.”  ”Face” is a concept in Asia that  encompasses dignity, reputation and honor.  Once I understood this perspective, it made it easier to negotiate.

That said, you should always smile and remain calm while bargaining. Never lose your temper (another way to lose face).  Remember that the merchandise in a seller’s shop is his livelihood, and if you don’t like his price, you may go somewhere else.  Likewise, if he doesn’t like yours, he doesn’t have to sell it to you.

When you are getting close to your desired price – perhaps down to a few dollars difference – you might want to stop and think about what that last bit of money means to you versus the seller.  If you are looking for ways to give back in countries where you travel, stopping the negotiation before you’ve squeezed out a last dollar/penny or two from the seller still gives you a good price, but it also puts a little extra money into the pocket of someone who probably needs it more than you.

With this in mind, here are my tips for how to bargain in Asia:

• Shop around and get a sense of what the item should cost.  Ask prices and listen to other tourists bargaining for similar items. I once hung out around a flower shop until a local bought the item I wanted (pussy willows).  As the buyer was walking away, I asked him what he paid.  The price went from $25 (the original quote from the seller) to $2.50 when I returned with this new knowledge.


• Once you are ready to purchase, check the item in question and make sure the quality is acceptable. Then, ask the seller for his best price.


• Once you receive his price, counter with your own.  I always come back with something a bit lower than I actually want to pay.


• The seller will probably come back with a compromise price.  If this is acceptable, you have a deal.  If not, you can state the highest price you are willing to pay.  The seller must absolutely believe you will not pay another penny.


• If the seller declines, walk away and don’t look back.  Go to another shop and pretend you don’t really want the item.


• If you are in the ballpark, the seller will run after you and you can usually make a deal at your last stated price.


• If he doesn’t run after you, your price is too high. At this point, you can go back to the shop and pay his price or  you can go to another shop and begin the negotiation again, that much the smarter.

It’s considered bad form to make an offer, have it accepted and then decline to buy it.  You may or may not not get yelled at, but either way, it’s not the accepted custom so try to be genuine in your offers.

How do you know you have paid the right price?  Well, I try to tell myself that if I am happy with what  I paid for the item in question, it is the right price.  In reality, I always know I’ve overpaid if the seller offers me a small gift or free trinket.  Likewise, I know I’m paying the right price if the seller congratulates me for being a good bargainer and asks if I live in that particular town. I’ve experienced both scenarios many times – and so will you, if you give it a try.

On New Year’s Eve, when Chinese families gather for a festive dinner, married people begin the distribution of small red envelopes filled with money (called  lai see in Hong Kong and hong bao in Singapore) to children and single members of the family. It varies slightly between countries, but during the first 10 days of the New Year, people expand the distribution to include all the children and single people they know.

In Hong Kong, managers distribute these little packets to their subordinates at work, but in Singapore, they give out two lucky oranges to each employee instead. Our building management also awarded each family a small red bag with two oranges inside.  Considering Erik shelled out US$2,000 from his own pocket one year between Hong Kong and Taiwan, we were happy to embrace the Singaporean custom.

The proper way to give a packet is to wish the recipient a happy and prosperous New Year – “Kung hei fat choi” (Cantonese) or “Xin nian kuai le” (Mandarin) and hand the envelope over using two hands, which is a sign of respect in much of Asia. The recipient puts his hands together and shakes them, wishes you a Happy New Year in return, and accepts the envelope with both his hands.

Some believe that all paper money should be new bills.  In Hong Kong, there was a special lai see counter, where people would wait in line for hours so that they could receive the newest paper money from bank tellers. Timing is also important.  My first year in Asia, in ignorance I gave a red envelope to our doorman before the holiday commenced. He could not have looked more uncomfortable as he politely rejected my good wishes (and packet) and informed me that it was too early to give out red packets.

When we first moved to Hong Kong, I became so confused about lai see etiquette that my husband’s assistant put together the below list.  Of course, these are just the rules for Hong Kong, but it gives you an idea of the complexity of this tradition:

Those married give out to all singles (even if they are the same generation)
Those married give out to married peoples’ children (This applies only to children who physically come to the office during the holiday period or to the children of colleagues with whom one has a close relationship)
Managers give to all reporting staff (both single and married)
All employees give to tea ladies, receptionists, messengers, etc. (both single or married)

No matter where you are, the more red packets you give, the more luck you receive in the upcoming year!

This time of year, the most popular Chinese character around town is “fu”,  pronounced, “foo.” A friend once explained that “fu” means “good fortune” or “blessings” and this time of year, it is appropriate to wish your friends and relatives “fu” for the New Year.  

As with many traditions associated with Chinese New Year, “fu” is not straightforward. When hung outside your home or business, the “fu” should be placed upside down.  This is because the word for “upside down” in Chinese is similar to “arrived,”  so when the “fu” is turned on its head, it means, “Good Luck has arrived,” or in Chinese, “Fu dao le!”  

If hung inside the house, the “Fu” should be right side up so that your good fortune stays inside.  Either way, ”fu” is almost always written in gold and featured on a diamond-shaped, red piece of paper, the bigger the better.