A bit more on Chinese naming

Naming babies in Hong Kong – and China – is a complex process. The Chinese believe that the name of a baby can have an impact on the child’s destiny; and consequently, it is very important to get it just right. My friend Vera recently shared with me a Cantonese expression that roughly says: one can change his fate but if his name is wrong, there is no hope for redemption.

As in the US, there are typically three words (or characters) in a Chinese name. The last name comes first and is comprised of one character. The second part of the name usually consists of two words (or characters): girls’ names often contain words like “beautiful” and “pretty,” and boys’ names frequently focus on concepts around masculinity, strength and honesty. But if it were that easy.

For very traditional families, grandparents may choose a child’s name based on genealogy and poems that harken back to another time. In this way, people can look at a name and understand both the history of a family and the relationship between its members.

There are some families who believe that the number of strokes is important and contains special significance; others insert their own aspirations and dreams into their children’s names. They may choose a character from the name of someone well-respected or famous and hope their child will inherit some of the person’s best qualities. 

Tradition in China dictates that the world is comprised of five elements: metal, wood, water, fire, and earth. These must also be considered when naming a child. To sort it all out, many couples employ the services of a feng shui master, who is able to digest all considerations and propose possible names that will provide their new baby the best opportunity in life.

Consider my friend, Emily. She and her husband approached a feng shui master with the birth date and time of their son, Andrew. The master was able to foresee his life ahead and determine that Andrew would need more water and wood elements. He then gave the couple twenty or so words from which to choose so that Andrew would receive the extra boost he needed. Some of the words were actually associated with “water” or “wood,” for example, river, lake, stream, and ocean, while others were based on derivations of their Chinese characters. 

My friend Vera and her husband, Simon, also consulted a feng shui master. In addition to the date and time of birth, the master asked them about goals for their daughter, Sarah. Vera responded with something along the lines of “to be happy and healthy, to have a good life.” “You can imagine,” she told me, “how detailed some people are with their answers. For example, you could specify what profession you would like your child to pursue, and the master will take it under consideration in his selection.” In Vera’s case, she provided some words for the master to to incorporate including “happiness” and “to be kind.” When he informed her that one of the words she submitted was most associated with nuns, she withdrew it for consideration.

As Vera planned to have a cesarean delivery, the master also shared with her the most auspicious time to give birth so she could schedule appropriately. Sarah thwarted her efforts by arriving early and received the beautiful name of “TingYan” or “Thunder of Happiness.”

But there is a darker side to naming babies in China, and in fact, I became interested in the topic when I learned that up until the 1940’s, many families did not bother to name baby daughters at all. Most recently, I was reading, “The Unknown Story: Mao” by Jung Chang, and on page one, the author writes, “Being merely a girl, Mao’s mother did not receive a name; as the seventh girl born in the Wen clan, she was just Seventh Sister Wen.” 

When I asked my friend, Gabrielle, about it, she shared her own story. Her childhood nanny, now ninety two, was “named” Li Four. In other words, her surname was “Li” and as the fourth sister of fifteen children, she was called, “Four.” Gabrielle also shared how her own daughter’s nanny, now 56, was born into a family with no boys. The parents gave each daughter  a name they hoped would bring them luck (eg a boy) the next time around.  The girls were called “Bringing Brother,” “Bringing Gold,” and “Bringing Silver.”   

Many families in Hong Kong choose both a western and Chinese name for their child.  The process for selecting the former roughly mirrors that in the U.S.:  expectant parents buy a baby naming book and ask friends and family for advice and input. Having lived in Hong Kong for two years at the time we adopted our daughter, we chose to follow the tradition of choosing both an English and Chinese name for her.  Like many families here, we engaged a feng shui expert to help us choose the appropriate name. But that’s another blog.