This weekend I got to see my friend, Dave, who (relatively) recently rode his bicycle from Seattle to Tierra del Fuego. Dave took 2 years and 13 days for the ride itself but also a couple of years of preparation before that. That’s a lot of energy and commitment. And when that much goes into a journey, you simply can’t return home and plop yourself back into life.
Despite the hardships Dave encountered, he told me, “I wish I could have kept going.” I asked him what stopped him from continuing. “Money.” Not the sore butt, the wet clothes or the difficult times. It simply came down to finances. And now that he’s back, he’s still struggling with re-entry.
I’ve come to realize that it takes me as much time to get over my journey as the length of the trip. When I told Dave this, he said, “So, I have another year a half.” Someone else asked, “Is that because of jet lag?” Fair enough question, but I said, “No, I don’t think so.”
We all go through a bit of depression after returning home from a journey. But because most of us travel for short periods of time, it’s easy to label it as jet lag since it usually goes away within a reasonable period of time. But I’d argue that there’s more going on there then mere jet lag. And while most people (including me) will label this as reverse culture shock, I’m starting to think that it’s more likely the horrible realization that what we value so much in our every day lives, really isn’t as important as we think it is.
Personally speaking, when I return from a trip, the last thing I want to do is answer email, phone calls or spend long hours in front of the computer. I want to call my family, see my friends, and visit with the neighbors. After all, these are the things that give life meaning, aren’t they?
Decisions such as what to have for breakfast become trivial.
I remember returning from my first real adventure abroad – 3 months in Thailand, India and Nepal. When I got back to the U.S., I flew into Seattle and then had to drive to N.J. where I was living at the time. I stopped at a McDonald’s for some coffee for that long drive and recall being bombarded by questions from the cashier who wanted to know what size I’d like, whether I wanted milk and sugar and whether I needed a stirrer. I just wanted a coffee. And after 3 months of being waited on by people who would come sit with me at my table to take my order (in Thailand) or outright ignore me because I was a woman (in India), I just thought her line of questioning was trivial and ridiculous (though she was only trying to be nice).
Dave shared a similar story. After returning to Seattle, he was riding with friends in a car. “Are you too cold? Too warm? Do you want me to roll up the window?” Spending 2+ years on his bicycle being cold and wet, he said he was always uncomfortable but learned to ignore it. In the same way that I just wanted a cup of coffee at McDonald’s, Dave was just thrilled to be in a car, not having to deal with the elements and was puzzled why his friends were so concerned about a little breeze.
After returning home, we usually fall back into the same patterns we’ve always had. We spend inordinate amounts of time online. We fret about not having enough half and half for our house guests. We complain that our local 7-11 only carries Diet Coke and not Diet Pepsi.
I try to remind myself every day what really IS important. It has nothing to do with what’s in my fridge or what’s hanging in my closet. It’s about the people in my life and being true and kind to them and myself.
And you can bet that next time I’m in the car, I’m going to roll down the window – feel the wind on my face and not care about whether it’s cold or warm out!
Travel Well!
Beth
Related links:
Stumbling Over Pebbles
RTW and Long Term Travel
Unsafe Travels in Uncertain Times
What Constitutes a Dangerous Destination?
A Monk Walks onto a Plane
Photo Credit – Frustrated Woman: Holly Lay
Mark H says
For such a drmaatic trip as Dave’s, I think it must take a long time to readjust. Nothing on his trip was like “normal” life, so everything needs to be re-adapted. I think the car temperature is a great example.
Beth Shepherd says
So true. So true. Even though we’re “on the move” when we travel, we slow down. We give ourselves permission to spend our hours taking it all in instead of taking it all on!
Legal Nomads says
I can completely relate to what you’ve written, and after many months on the road, I’ve found myself in a strange paralysis over the most simple of decisions at home. Coming back from 7 mos in Asia made for a strange reverse culture shock, and hit me harder than expected. Always nice to realize I’m not alone in these sentiments; great post – thanks Beth!
Debbie Dubrow says
Love this post. For me, it’s often all the colors that get me. Everything is so bright here – with billboards, signs, and brightly colored products everywhere.
Dominique says
For me, it even takes a few days to relax into the pace of a trip…and those few days are often all we’ll have for a trip at any given time.
I especially notice the noise and heaviness of the air when I come back from somewhere like northern Michigan.